this is going to be cryptic as hell, because i’m not sure if it belongs on the internet, but 1) this is my only form of self documentation and 2) i can keep secrets, but i don’t always like to, especially when they’re (mostly) my own. <\/p>\n
i feel like i’ve been shocked by the capacitor on the flash circuit of one of these<\/a> over and over until i’m dizzy and maybe not completely coherant, and that’s not neccessarily a bad thing. i’m just confused, and again, not neccessarily in a bad way, but i have a feeling that i have to be very careful so i don’t fuck up something good. i feel like i’m suddenly preoccupied with something which is awesome and really great, but intellectually or rather sensibly, i don’t want to by preoccupied with that thing to extent that it’s something that i think about all the time and rearrange my life around. it’s hard because that’s exactly what i want to do in the short term, but in the long run, experience has told me that that’s not how i want things to be. so i just have to be cautious and i think things could be amazing or at least different and special. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" this is going to be cryptic as hell, because i’m not sure if it belongs on the internet, but 1) this is my only form of self documentation and 2) i can keep secrets, but i don’t always like to, especially when they’re (mostly) my own. i feel like i’ve been shocked by the capacitor… Continue reading 94540540<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s4wnIz-94540540","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/468","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=468"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/468\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=468"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=468"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.terrorware.com\/geoff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=468"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}