the reality tunnel

Sorority Girl Poetry

Ode To My Pores

whose pores are these? why yes they’re mine!
for I’ve been blessed, with skin devine
to best employ my girlish guiles
of handjobs, sex, and sacharine smiles
a blessing yes, but too a curse
for beauty products fill my purse
and 3 hour regimine complete
i barely have the time to eat
which serves as little compromise
for food will only grow my thighs
like ugly girls that I abhor
those delta kappa fucking whores
but I’m the girl that boys love more
just me, myself, and my cute pores

Tooth Enamel, Oh Tooth Enamel

My tooth enamel went away, I shant see it tomorrow.
Like stomach lining gone before, it fills my heart with sorrow.
For what, you ask, do I so bear this pain and fetid breath?
For having meat upon my bones, tis fate, far worse, than death.

I Must Buy Something Now

What sentiment did interrupt, my meal when last I tried to sup?
Like hot coals through my pockets burning, alas, twas my consumer yearning.
My friendships I must disavow, I fear I must buy something now.

Again it strikes whilst I’m in class, the urge to spend some cold hard cash.
Disrupting things I might have known, like buzzing toll of mobile phone.
Enough of books, and furrowed brow, for I must go buy something now.

For joy! It looms in front of me, the mall, celestial city.
Shimmering with glorious splender: stores and boys, and food court vendors.
But to distraction, I won’t bow, no I will go buy something now.

Cheerful signs they call to me, Gap, Express, Aber-crom-bie.
My lust for commerce finally sated, my hunger has, at last abated.
For I have followed my own tao, and have gone to buy something now.

The Three Best Things

about going home last weekend are

1) Getting to be there for my Mom’s birthday and mother’s day. Buying her baloons and party decorations to make the house fun. Baking her a cake and making her breakfast. Knowing that she’s really happy just to have me around.

2) Learning to play Saves the Day songs on the guitar and singing them with my brother.

3) Driving with Tim to get frosting for the cake. Seeing that a new cigarette outlet has opened up business. Going to the dollar tree store to buy tape. Making crude signs that read Smoking Kills, Death $2.50 per pack, Butt Out, and Smoking Killed My Grandpa. Posting said signs on the front of said cigarette outlet.

More Public Education Horror Stories

Tutor: She has the division flash cards down, she’s also got the metric measurement fine. She’s still having trouble with English measurement, but she understands it better.
Teacher: I don’t know why she doesn’t understand it. She’s my brightest student. I was thinking of mainstreaming her next year. Sometimes I want to hit her.

I Believe The Children Are Our Future …

Teacher:You can go help the kid down the hall. He’s the heavyset one.
Student: You called him fat.
Teacher: I did not. I didn’t say fat.
Student: You said heavy…
Teacher: You know what… Just shut up.

(this was an actual conversation overheard when I was tutoring at a Columbus, OH middle school)

McDonald’s Confirms Its French Fries Are Made With Beef
Extract

Just a warning to any vegetarians, my roommate J passed this information on to me: http://www.commondreams.org/headlines01/0504-02.htm