05.31.2002 – baldness, world cup, weakerthans, making a fist
so … last night i shaved my head. not with the plastic electric razor length gaurd. not even with the bare metal clippers. i’m talking bic razor, to the skin, mr. clean shaved head. why? you might ask. well, the first reason is for my personal amuseument. that’s actually a big motivator. second, i talk a lot of shit around the flat. i figured it was time that i put my money where my mouth is. finally, i wanted to make the point that one can make bad decisions while completely sober. to be honest, it didn’t turn out all that bad. i wouldn’t say i like it, but i now realize that at the very least, i have a very symmetric head.
the world cup starts today. france v. senegal. was watching the opening ceremony a bit this morning. was talking about how odd it was that the world cup was shared between s. korea and japan. i thought there would be some huge cultural tensions because i think that japan fscked up quite a bit of asia rather badly during ww2. rob made the point that the us fscked over japan rather signifcantly with the a-bomb. quite true. really odd to get a perspective like that from someone who i see as having somewhat conservative political leanings. that kind of thing gets you into trouble when you say it in america. it’s refreshing to have that different perespective.
love the two weakerthans records that tim hooked me up with (fallow and left and leaving). great music. it’s the new folk music. well, not really folk music, but folk music in the sense that bob dylan used to be folk music. more like fringe-pop. melodically accessible music grounded in the modern human experience. downtempo laments and speedy rockers fit nicely next to each other on this record. sturdy music. appropriately canadian, whatever that means. as i said yesterday, this is the other half of propaghandi. it’s what made them so amazing. the technical mastery of the metal influence but also that great melodic intelligence. billy bragg can move you to action just as easily as anti-flag.
wanted to get into an argument about middle-class apathy with erin on the phone last night. she wouldn’t oblige me. it’s hard to communicate with her over the wires. i wish i could have phone conversations with her like i do with my dad, or e-mail/im dialogues like i do with tim or patrick. i don’t know what it is that’s different. i’m almost convinced that the best way to make it trhough a long-distance relationship is to procede as if nothing’s changed. maybe it’s just easier to do that with friends and family than it is with a girlfriend. anyway … she’s kind of critical about kids who are spouting the violent “take the streets” rhethoric, and we have this mutual friend who’s particularly inclined to that and she always sees it as foolish if not a little dangerous. i’m not about the throw a brick through a starbucks window, and i’m not always sure how effective direct action is, but i was thinking the other day that it is important. the important thing, and also the thing that many, many people criticize, is that the kids who do the whole black-block thing, at least in the us tend to be middle-class white kids who, directly, have very little to complain about. but, in the end, these are the kids who need to be spurred to violent action the most. i see the middle class as the group of people who are always along for the ride in the world, but who never shape it. we always want something more, but are afraid to risk what we’ve got. and to me, that makes us slow and frightened. afraid of conflict. i feel that whenever i try to rationalize to myself why i don’t get in the face of someone who makes a racist or sexist joke or comment. and maybe letting it go is the right call. maybe working within the system when it comes to fighting the war agaisnt the plague of homogenous corporate culture is worlds better than smashing the starbucks window. maybe inflamatory crticism of our government, however warranted it may be, is counterproductive at this point. but there could be a point where those things are no longer the case. there comes a point when those in power abuse it to the point where there is no choice but to react. perhaps not violently, but certainly not passively. i just sort of wonder about middle class germans leading up to the rise of nazi power. i don’t want to believe that they all supported the regime, but if i don’t believe that, i’m forced to believe that they closed their eyes, put their hands over their ears, and went along for the ride. i could very easily see myself in their position. i certainly can’t condemn them for that, but i’d like to be better than that. but, i fear, i may be too much of a coward. i may be willing to wait and see how things work out. to have faith in a better tomorrow, but not willing to sacrifice for that tomorrow. so i think that every angry protest, every attack on the police, every brick through the starbucks window is not just middle class kids playing a game, but the kids trying to convince themselves that if it ever came down to it, they’d be able to do what needed to be done. i hope i would.
saw a father and his daughter having lunch in the cafe today. they looked pleasant. natural. unpatronizing. always makes me happy to see that. my ex-girlfriend and her dad had such a shit relationship, not just in the way that people who are close can hurt/annoy each other, but in the sense that there was no enagement whatsoever. erin gets along with her parents well (in many ways, better than i get on with mine). that’s really good.