Category: Uncategorized

it’s been one of those days where it’s taken forever to do *everything*. there’s exactly one thing i need to get done today, but all the other little chores i made for myself, even simple tasks like putting fenders on my bike, seemed clumsy and difficult.

went to the health food store that i recently realized was just around the corner from my house. not as good of a selection as the co-op, and no deli, but at least they are a convenient source for the sweet, sweet tofutti cream cheese.

i like going out during the day, for one because it’s a hell of a lot less depressing than getting cooped up all day. the natural light on the fresh snow is almost blinding. it’s also crazy to be reminded that there’s a different world out there that’s different and scary from my life. a world of business lunches and inane conversation and bougie moms taking their bratty kids to lunch. i guess that’s a little harsh. the line between bratty and precocious is a thin one. i’m just afraid that the privilage of being taken to good local eateries instead of mcdonalds still produces a hunger for designer clothes and suvs in the end.

put some capaciters in my ears. the nerdy ear jewelry solution.

i’m going to put a link to my band, defiance ohio’s website here because it still isn’t in google yet, and i think that at least my blog gets crawled. http://defianceohio.terrorware.com.

the first nice day all winter and the people who walk the streets at dusk make me thing there’s a good chance we’ll make it out of this alive

can’t we live our lives the way we want to live? and haven’t we got more than we have ever hoped and dreamed? i can’t live my future shackled to my past. i felt that way once, and i’m not going back.

the first nice day in weeks. it put me in better spirits at a time that i really needed it. as i rode my bike to the coffee shop to do some homework, i saw all kinds of people out walking around. it was great.

finished the cd layout on the computer using chad’s designs and ftpd the designs to the cd pressing place (cdman.com) and ryan overnighted the music today. it’s frustrating to have to worry about that stuff when i’m so busy, but it’s kind of neat to see what goes into the process of releasing a cd.

called hannah from philadelphia tonight to try to find out about a show. looks like it will be hard to get a show on the 24th since it’s a weekday. maybe we can be flexible with the nyc and providence shows so we can play philadelphia on a weekend. i hate calling people. i always feel like a jerk because i’m usually asking for someone to help me out in some way. being more involved with the “punk” community more closely is weird for me, because people act closer and do favors for each other, but then don’t see each other for a long time. i’m really appreciative of everyone who’s helped me or the band out and i hope no one thinks i’m ungreatful because i don’t stay in touch.

drama. drama that i don’t want to be in the middle of, and that i tried so hard to stay out of, but now i find myself smack dab in the middle of it. had a long phone conversation with will about it and we talked some stuff out. there’s still a chance that everything will turn out ok.

got a letter from abbey over the weekend. she sent me the flyer from our show in bloomington and the lil’ matt tobey and a lil’ geoff finger puppet that she made. totally sweet. i like getting mail from people and it’s fun to have friends in different towns. now i just have to not be a bastard and write back.

M15 Statewide Anti-War Rally in Columbus, OH

MARCH 15 STATEWIDE ANTI-WAR RALLY IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

WHAT? Statewide solidarity rally and march on the Franklin County Courts building in downtown Columbus

WHEN? Saturday, March 15 – 1:00 PM

WHERE? Blackburn Park (near the Mt. Zion Church on Bryden Rd.) The park is 1.25 miles East of downtown Columbus and is located on the corner of E. Main St. and S. 18th St. MapQuest link:

bush’s own advisers condem global warming plan

http://www.guardian.co.uk/climatechange/story/0,12374,903609,00.html

stupid politicos freak out about p2p at universities

http://news.com.com/2100-1028-986143.html

Key politicians chided universities on Wednesday for not doing enough to limit peer-to-peer piracy, calling unauthorized copying a federal crime that should be punished appropriately.

Members of the House of Representtives subcommittee that oversees copyright law said at a hearing that peer-to-peer piracy was a crime under a 1997 federal law, but universities continued to treat file-swapping as a minor infraction of campus disciplinary codes.

“If on your campus you had an assault and battery or a murder, you’d go down to the district attorney’s office and deal with it that way,” said Rep. William Jenkins, R-Tenn.

…

i think it’s unconscionable to compare music/software piracy, with violent crime. studies have shown that music downloading has had a negligible effect on record sales, and software piracy by college students isn’t really the cause of the software industries woes (look instead to profit minded pirates overseas). we need to reevaluate our laws when property (and ridiculous electronic intellectual property at that) is valued just as highly as human life.

war of words 2 article: Poll: More disapprove of Bush on economy

http://www.salon.com/politics/wire/2003/02/25/poll/index.html

i woke up way to early this morning, but i didn’t have much of a choice, since having left both my bicycles at the legion of doom, i was forced to wake up early to get a ride in to school with my housemates. it was weird, sitting in the back seat as erin navigated the car through the perilous fresh snow to a soundtrack of christian melo-core blaring through the speakers. i don’t know how to feel about that stuff. listening to the lyrics made me cringe a little from ridiculousness, but i could see how they could be meaningful to a certain type of kid.

today was pretty standard. managed to work a little bit at least to try to get ahead of all the expenses that inexplicably keep piling up. classes were ok, and despite the early morning i was able to stay mostly awake. i even got the next day’s homework taken care of early.

the best part of the day was band practice although it was pretty stressful since it was the first full band practice in a week or so. some stuff sounded real good, other stuff sounded sort of flat. personally, i had to deal with banging my head against the wall of my own utter lack of natural musical ability. at least by the time we got to total turri (a hardcore band made up of defiance, ohio – bz + chad on vocals playing songs only about jimmy turri) i was having a lot of fun.

it’s true that i’ve grown to have a certain aversion to people entering my personal “bubble”, though i don’t think it’s as accute as people like to tease me about. i don’t have any inherent dislike of physical contact or intimacy, and it’s not as if i had some traumatic childhood event which makes me shy away from close contact with others, it’s more of an issue of (perhaps ridiculous) personal politics. in most of my young adult life it seemed like overt acts of physical contact between all but the closest of people were always coupled with a notion of possessiveness, neediness, manipulation, or insincerity which has always made me uncomfortable.

driving back from the show was different. cutting across the snowy ohio countryside, the eight of us huddled together for warmth. heads rested on shoulders, bodies draped loosely in unzipped sleeping bags squeezed into the bench seats, arms and legs sprawled comfortably over other arms and legs. our bodies rested against one another in silent, peaceful support, our entagled limbs a child’s game of pickup sticks where one dare not disturb even the smallest piece of the simple balance of the structure lest it come crashing down.

i had planned for this weekend to be a quiet simple one where i could watch some videos and catch up on homework. however, ryan’s return to town and a general return to the hectic business as usual put an end to all that. it wasn’t a bad thing. it was a fun weekend all in all – just not very relaxing. i spent the afternoon going down to the ‘natti with ryan and chad to check out the red square film show. i was a little disappointed with the videos that were shown, but i thought it was a neat event nonetheless. afterwords, we ate some decent indian food and i got to see ryan in his old element and talk a bit with matt, who helped us out with a cinci show on the first defiance, ohio tour, who i think is a nice and interesting guy.

on the drive back, chad dozed and ryan and i had another one of or typical on the road discussions, though it was a bit less antagonistic than usual. we talked a little bit about some of the somewhat disturbing things that had filtered their way down the gossip grapevine. it’s not that they’re neccessarily bad, it’s just that i don’t understand them, and i’m uncomfortable talking to those involved with it directly, and i’m not sure how to talk about things so that they work out for the best for everyone involved. i want to be supportive of my friends, but it’s hard when you’re not sure if they’re doing what they really want to be doing.

last night we did more filming for the rap video. things went smoother than last time. the third rapper was there, and he was pretty down to business in an almost too serious sort of way. there were more people, and no fights, all in all, the atmosphere was much more festive. we got a lot more good looking shots, and i think that we’ll be able to come up with something that makes everyone happy. there weren’t any moments that i’d define as scary this week, but it was still a fairly wild party. high points included:

– mac, a mother of 6 who also might be the most sexually charged individual i’ve ever met, calling colin her “baby daddy” and making reference to wanting to make “mixed babies” with him

– ryan, a little drunk trying desperately to explain to rapper “man” how digital video was great because it meant that more of the production funding for a project could go to support your friends and people you believe in who are involved in the project

– eric luck’s modest, but totally amazing break-dancing footwork. we’re not talking lame frat boy style, this boy’s got rythm!

– johnny handsome showing up still wearing his suit from a wedding earlier in the day and all the women at the party loving it. when we took some still photos to document the night, johnny had a good handful of girls trying to get on his lap during his shot.

unfortunately, shooting the rap video meant that we once again missed derek’s comedy show, which sucks because he’s a funny person and i really want to see the act, and because he’s always been really supportive of band stuff. hopefully i’ll get another chance to see his show soon.