4134484

Haiku for a june morning while studying linguistics in a coffee shop in columbus, ohio

light paints concrete gold
metal giants grunt loudly
a city awakes

I wrote this as a diversion from studying for finals the first week in june

3703421

Sorority Girl Poetry

Ode To My Pores

whose pores are these? why yes they’re mine!
for I’ve been blessed, with skin devine
to best employ my girlish guiles
of handjobs, sex, and sacharine smiles
a blessing yes, but too a curse
for beauty products fill my purse
and 3 hour regimine complete
i barely have the time to eat
which serves as little compromise
for food will only grow my thighs
like ugly girls that I abhor
those delta kappa fucking whores
but I’m the girl that boys love more
just me, myself, and my cute pores

Tooth Enamel, Oh Tooth Enamel

My tooth enamel went away, I shant see it tomorrow.
Like stomach lining gone before, it fills my heart with sorrow.
For what, you ask, do I so bear this pain and fetid breath?
For having meat upon my bones, tis fate, far worse, than death.

I Must Buy Something Now

What sentiment did interrupt, my meal when last I tried to sup?
Like hot coals through my pockets burning, alas, twas my consumer yearning.
My friendships I must disavow, I fear I must buy something now.

Again it strikes whilst I’m in class, the urge to spend some cold hard cash.
Disrupting things I might have known, like buzzing toll of mobile phone.
Enough of books, and furrowed brow, for I must go buy something now.

For joy! It looms in front of me, the mall, celestial city.
Shimmering with glorious splender: stores and boys, and food court vendors.
But to distraction, I won’t bow, no I will go buy something now.

Cheerful signs they call to me, Gap, Express, Aber-crom-bie.
My lust for commerce finally sated, my hunger has, at last abated.
For I have followed my own tao, and have gone to buy something now.

3702813

The Three Best Things

about going home last weekend are

1) Getting to be there for my Mom’s birthday and mother’s day. Buying her baloons and party decorations to make the house fun. Baking her a cake and making her breakfast. Knowing that she’s really happy just to have me around.

2) Learning to play Saves the Day songs on the guitar and singing them with my brother.

3) Driving with Tim to get frosting for the cake. Seeing that a new cigarette outlet has opened up business. Going to the dollar tree store to buy tape. Making crude signs that read Smoking Kills, Death $2.50 per pack, Butt Out, and Smoking Killed My Grandpa. Posting said signs on the front of said cigarette outlet.

3702768

More Public Education Horror Stories

Tutor: She has the division flash cards down, she’s also got the metric measurement fine. She’s still having trouble with English measurement, but she understands it better.
Teacher: I don’t know why she doesn’t understand it. She’s my brightest student. I was thinking of mainstreaming her next year. Sometimes I want to hit her.

3498729

I Believe The Children Are Our Future …

Teacher:You can go help the kid down the hall. He’s the heavyset one.
Student: You called him fat.
Teacher: I did not. I didn’t say fat.
Student: You said heavy…
Teacher: You know what… Just shut up.

(this was an actual conversation overheard when I was tutoring at a Columbus, OH middle school)

3257377

Joey Ramone Is Dead

Ok, so as I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware, Joey Ramone is dead as of Sunday I think. So I don’t really know how to feel. The Ramones have never been my favorite band. They always seemed disconnected from the youthful energy, anger, and politics that made punk rock important to me. Still, I’ve always enjoyed their music, and everyone must aknowledge the incredible contributions that the band made to music. Though one can argue on and on about the origins of punk, the Ramones, more than any other band brought punk to the forefront and spawned the genre that is so prominent today. But despite the significance of the Ramones, I find myself almost ambivalent to the passing of their frontman and if anything, more alarmed at my ambivalence then the actual death. Is it that we punks have become so acustomed to the fleetingness of punk rock icons via bands breaking up after a brief, raging spot upon the worlds stage? Unfortunately, it seems, the same thing that makes punk different, the fact that its purveyors aren’t rock stars, but average joes (or joeys) means that in the end

3122247

Fun Times

Today was really, really fun. Last night, as a result of various airline snafus, Charlie ended up staying and hanging out into the afternoon. Charlie is really interesting and has a great deal of knowledge and number of ideas about music, art, and politics. It was fun sitting in the kitchen and talking with him and Jason about all of these things. After dropping him at the airport for his flight to Arizona, Kyle, Becca, and I headed for the oval where we caught up with Erin and Jason and hung out and read for classes. The weather has been beautiful, save for the occasional rain drop or thunder cloud, these past few days and I cannot think of any way I would rather spend it than lounging about outside with my friends. Surprisingly, we were able to resist each other’s company and accomplish a substantial amount of work. After that, I got ahold of Varu and we went grocery shopping. She said that I was being negative, or low energy, and exhibited a general malaise towards me. I don’t get it. It makes me very uncomfortable. I hate making people feel unhappy, but the manner in which she voiced her disapproval of my attitude reminded me a bit too much of my ex-girlfriend for my tastes. Its hard. Varu is one of the few friends that I have here who is a close enough friend to actually have conflict with. Hopefully the minor akwardness will be resolved tomorrow. After dinner/the Simpsons, we went out on our porch roof to chill. Kyle had tried to climb a tree to get on the top roof, but realized he would have no way to get back down. As he was climbing the tree, Jason shined a flashlight on him and it was a scene straight out of COPS. We even did the silly commentary that the police always give in that silly show. “This is the Columbus Police department. Come down from that tree … ” When we were out on the porch roof, someone had the amazing idea of lighting the window sill on fire with rubbing alcohol. It was a trick I had not been exposed too, and it looked really cool. We proceeded to light other parts of the house’s exterior on fire. This all culminated with lighting the sidewalk on fire and having me ollie over the flames. We skated for a bit before we all went inside. I played guitar with Kyle and later Jason. It was rather fun. Jason played bass to one of my songs and it was starting to sound pretty good. He plays bass remarkably well for someone who doesn’t do it often. I’d love to have his talent. Erin was over practicing her guitar playing, so the house was full of music. I finally got Erin to put her name on the Board of Correctness *. I knew she’d cave is. The truth is though, the board really hasn’t caused any major conflict. Overwhelmingly, its been fun and civil. So tonight was a really good night. The whole feel of the house has changed since Josh got a girlfriend and Kyle moved in. I think its just that Kyle is more like me than Josh and whereas I was the odd man out before, Jason and Kyle tend to do more of the stuff I like doing like skating or lighting stuff on fire or listening to records. But yeah, its been fun, somewhat reminiscent of crazy, innocent times in high school. I’m having second thoughts about leaving, but its hard because I know stuff like this can be so fleeting.

* The Board of Correctness was this idea I had because I like to argue, and I’m overly competitive. Basically, its this posterboard with our names on it. When there is an argument about some trivial fact (for instance, whether pigs have cork-screw phalluses or whether gyro meat is lamb or a lamb-beef hybrid) the winner gets a star by his or her name. The person with the most stars or who gets to 5 or 10 stars first gets a prize or maybe a trophy.

3122012

“The next best thing, he reasoned to having a woman love you, is to have her dislike you violenty, — the main point is that you should be kept in mind, and made the subject of strong emotions”

— Mr. Ellis thinking of Clara in Charles W. Chestnutt’s The Marrow of Tradition