Playground Boys

I hear “Oona’s commmming!!! …” and then a stream of tag playing kids pours off of the playground equipment. Picking up O+F from school is way better than being at work.

It’s a little alarming that at any given moment there’s at least one pair of boys trying to pin each other to the ground. It’s harmless, at least by traditional “boys will be boys” standards, but it’s not too hard to see the progression of those ideas as a boy gets older. I wrestled and battled with boys when I was in elementary school, and I think what was most harmful was less what I learned from those moments of aggression and more what I didn’t learn – collaboration, yielding sometimes, listening, collective survival instead of individual survival.

Wal Mart Controls Chicago Weather

I pulled my car into the remnants of a snow bank near the corner of Milwaukee and Paulina in Chicago’s Wicker Park neighborhood. Further down the block and across the street, the curbside was bare. According to a volunteer at a storefront across from the mysterious snow bank, the snow was created as part of commercial shoot for department store giant, Wal Mart. The man that I spoke with, claimed that the commerecial used empty storefronts in the neighborhood to create a fake main street where shoppers rejected the high prices of mom and pop stores in favor of Wal Mart.

Wal Mart, who has opened one store on the West side of Chicago is currently pushing to open an additional store on the city’s south side.

Photo from strannik45 on Flickr used respectfully without photographer’s permission.

Transit, Chicago, and Collective Consciousness

I think I feel most connected to the city on transit.  Last night I talked to a friend and the idea of things that weren’t a presence in my life before I moved to Chicago came up.  I think that one of those things is just a pervasive and surprising sense of collective experience.  Today, on the bus, a woman at the stop asked if the bus went to the sears tower and as the bus driver struggled to give her a precise answer, the bus hummed with the murmurs of people offering their own responses.  Another rider asked how long it took to get downtown on the particular bus.  Again, the bus collectively came to the conclusion 20 minutes.  Of course, the tragedy is that the composite experience of space and time in the city breaks down.  As horrible as the recent beating death of a Chicago youth and the morbid curiosity that still surrounds it, those events are miles and miles away from many of the people who live here, both in terms of geography and experience.

Help Florence get a smile

Florence needs braces in a pretty serious way (potential future jaw and other pain) and now is the time that it’s best for treatment to begin. Unfortunately, it costs some serious bank.

Chiara started a Facebook group to help Florence out:

Florence needs braces as soon as possible to fix her overbite and avoid future messes such as head aches, neck and mouth problems and such.

she needs it now as her bones are still growing, and the treatment is much more effective that way.

and guess what? the treatment is 6,400 dollars.
there is no way i can do this by myself. if you can help please do, if you cannot that’s ok. if you know someone who can, let them know.

You can donate via the PayPal badge on Chiara’s Facebook page.  Contact me if you have any questions or would like to make a donation by check.

HID + OSC + SooperLooper

I’ve always had trouble writing guitar leads, and lately, I’ve been having a horrible time writing lyrics.  I wanted to mess around with a software looper (I found that SooperLooper works well for my needs anyway, but found it was really great for my process as I could try different lyrics or guitar parts over a simple chord progression.  I found that I wanted pedal-like control over the looper, however, so I got a cheap USB game controller (Logitech Dual Action) and hacked together a PureData patch for controlling SooperLooper.  The patch doesn’t handle all the buttons on the controller and only controls the overdub and record functions of the looper, but that was all I needed for the moment.

The next step is to break the USB game controller out of it’s case and wire in more guitar-effects-style switches to make the controller into a performance-worthy tool.

Why Chicago?

“I think everyone is familiar with Chicago’s well-known mythology – Al Capone, hog butcher to the world, Saul Bellow, But Chicago now is something less well-known, and the gap between those two things – the reality of the city today and the mythology of its yesteryears – creates a winning sense of ownership among people who live there, of guardedness, of toughness and skepticism, which is uniquely Chicagoan.  It’s a big reason why I think we should pick Chicago as a city over, say New York, which mulches its outward image annually in the arena of pop culture.  I felt for this reason the issue would have something truly new to say about the city, and by extension, about America.” – John Freeman, editor of the Granta literary magazine, on why the magazine chose to feature Chicago as the theme for its upcoming issue.

This was via a review in New City.

Working

I’m reading Studs Terkel’s Working:People Talk About What They Do All Day and How They Feel About What They Do. I’m not exactly sure why I chose this books, but in part, it has to be because I currently have a full-time, 9-5 job, commute and all, for the first time in a very long time and I’m finding it tough to adapt. I’m also trying to reconcile the conflict that I see in the naivety of thinking something like “fuck work”, which I’ve heard a million times in DIY punk lyrics, and really feeling that working full time doesn’t afford me, and likely many others, very much time to do things that are meaningful in life.

I’m only into the introduction of the book, but so far I’ve come across a few snippets that seem relevant to these questions:

“… his work at least gives him a secure place in a portion of reality, in the human community …” – Sigmund Freud, quoted from Civilization and Its Discontents

“Learning is work.  Caring for children is work.  Community action is work. Once we accept the concept of work as something meaningful-not just as the source of a buck-you don’t have to worry about finding enough jobs. There’s no excuse for mules any more. Society does not need them. There’s no question about our ability to feed and clothe and house everybody.  The problem is going to come in finding enough ways for man to keep occupied, so he’s in touch with reality.” – Ralph Helstein

These two quotations sum up my conflict – not working seems to disconnect one from reality in a way, because work is such a huge part of so many’s reality.  However, work disconnects one from reality in other ways.  I want to believe that Helstein is right, that we can define work in different ways so that we can really be “in touch with reality”.

Mansplaining

One of the interesting things about the technological world is that new, precise terminology develops really quickly. This can be confusing and a barrier to understanding things, but when it bleeds over into culture surrounding technology (e.g. newsgroups back in the day and social networking sites now), there’s great jargon that really captures cultural phenomenon.  Today, I learned the term “mansplain” through meta-comments about a blog post.  Urban Dictionary defines “mainsplain” as:

To explain in a patronizing manner, assuming total ignorance on the part of those listening. The mansplainer is often shocked and hurt when their mansplanation is not taken as absolute fact, criticized or even rejected altogether.

I’ve definitely been guilty of this.  The example that weighs heavily in my memory happened on a trip back home during my freshman year of college.  I had just participated in reading Naomi Wolf’s “The Beauty Myth” as part of a university-wide reading program.  It was really an eye-opening book for me because it described cultural pressures and beauty standards that, as a man, I really didn’t have to think about or deal with.  I was excited by my new-found consciousness and filled with moral outrage about the injustice of gendered beauty standards.  On my trip back, I went with my family to one of my brother’s quiz bowl competitions.  In talking with one of his female teammates, the subject shifted to gender and appearance.  I began to describe “The Beauty Myth” and how culture and mass media oppressed women and suggested that she read the book.  My brother’s teammate cut me off.  “I don’t read that dykey stuff,” she replied shortly.

Until recently, this story sat in my mind as an example of how ideas that restrict someone can be internalized, but now I see it as a possible response to my mansplaining.  Surely, a young woman participating in an intellectual competition, thick with geeky connotations, where women were definitely in the minority didn’t need to have gendered double standards explained to her.  This kind of mansplaining seems particularly problematic because it’s pedantically clobbering someone about issues of gender.  This is easy for me, and likely other men, to do because part of male privilege and the expectations and behaviors that perpetuate it is that men aren’t supposed to think about how our lives are mediataed by gender.  So, it’s a lot easier to try to front with presumed expertise when we learn about how gender works in our society from books or descriptions of other people’s experience than to describe and analyze our own experiences with gender.

What is the remedy?  It seems so difficult when I feel conditioned to mansplained. The familiar elementary school report is just one example of how our culture values singular expertise on a subject and assumes that the non-expert doesn’t have anything to contribute to the teaching or learning process.  I feel like I get most of my validation from the things that I do that are perceived as having the most exclusive knowledge.  Do I get validation because I enjoy writing computer programs or do I write computer programs because it’s something that is culturally perceived as challenging and talent-requiring?  What can individuals do with skills or knowledge other than demonstrate their expertise?

I can answer the last question at least.  We can do stuff.  And one thing that is incredibly helpful to me is to do things where I am most definitely and perpetually not expert.  It forces me to appreciate the abilities or knowledge of others and learn from them.  Playing music is one of those things and playing soccer is another.  When I think about gender, it’s hard not to think about soccer because playing it, for me, has always involved playing with women, but the institution has also seemed so male dominated.  It’s easy for me to fetishize women who play on otherwise all-boys high school teams, or who are the sole lady at the pick-up game, and it’s compelling to say, “I know what you’re facing, I can see how the pressures and expectations of gender are playing themselves out on this field.”  But, really, we know these things because we live them, on one side of the gender divide or the other, and we can do our best to make these spaces in our lives more gender equal.  Finally, I rely on soccer as an example of personal changes in gendered interactions because it’s so obvious that what, beyond “teaching” someone skills or pointing out their minority status in the game, what will really benefit women playing in mostly-male soccer games benefits most men too.  It doesn’t elevate the game when any player makes assumptions about the skills of their teammates.  It’s not fun for everyone when two dudes start yelling at each other over some foul.  And it doesn’t make anyone more skillful when a handful of skilled players hog the ball and are oblivious to their teammates.  It’s pretty clear in this example, but generally true, I think.  While gendered expectations benefit men in a lot of ways, they also restrict us.

Tormenting the poor

Judah pointed me to Barbara Ehrenreich breaks it down in her NYTimes op-ed, Is It Now a Crime to be Poor?:

Maybe we can’t afford the measures that would begin to alleviate America’s growing poverty — affordable housing, good schools, reliable public transportation and so forth. I would argue otherwise, but for now I’d be content with a consensus that, if we can’t afford to truly help the poor, neither can we afford to go on tormenting them.

This is definitely something that Bloomington should keep in mind, and I suspect a lot of people who live in neighborhoods and communities that are confronting more visibly human faces of poverty.  Still, I’m not content with criticizing middle-class suburbanites|yuppies|city governments|business associations|police are whack for tormenting people experiencing poverty or trying to ignore it.   I feel like I’ve inherited, despite my best efforts, the cultural anxiety with poverty and I think we need to have a frank discussion about what scares us so much about poverty and poor people and how we can get over it.  One of the problems with intense efforts, over time, to racially and economically segregate our communities is that many of us in this country who grew up in those segregated places have no tools to accurately assess our real safety.  We just rely on the mythologies about the potential dangers that people who we perceive as different than us might pose.  I don’t think the antidote is to fetishize poverty either, but I hope there’s a way out.

Untitled

I’m excited that some of Decarcerate Monroe County’s ideas have become projected into the mainstream media, like this from a July 26 Herald Times op-ed:

Some of his numbers also should give pause to our criminal justice hierarchy. Why is it that while incarceration rates have gone up nationwideby 38 percent from 1994 to 2007, the rate here has gone up 53 percent? And why is it that fully 87 percent of the jail’s inmates haven’t been convictedof anything but are simply awaiting trial?